Jules' Diary

New year, new me. I thought that was only my mantra since Dylan left, but it seriously feels like everyone in Mill-Heights has a brand-new high school identity.

Jeremy (or Christopher...ugh) is a Chris now, Kyle’s crushing on someone (Which I don't know who it is), Mickey’s busy with Kevin, Johnny’s MIA, Anthony’s got new friends, and the list goes on. It feels like just yesterday that we were little kids: BFFs and Dance Brothers for life. When did everything change? More importantly, why does everything have to change?

Sometimes, I miss the old days. I saw Jeremy at school yesterday and he wouldn’t even stop to talk to me for more than a minute. Since when did the Chris' become more important than the Dance Brothers? We used to be brothers. Well, like brothers, not real brothers (sorry Roy, if you’re reading this. Also, RESPECT MY PRIVACY!). I thought the spa staycation would bring us together, but it only managed to show me how far apart we’ve grown.

Here’s a secret: sometimes I want to go back in time. Last night, when the clock hit 11:11 and I was falling asleep, I wished for a time machine to teleport back to two years ago. Things weren’t so complicated then. I knew exactly who I was, who my friends were, and what I wanted out of life. Sometimes I wish I could just be Harmony’s age. Life is so much easier when you’re a kid. Don’t you agree, Harmony?! Also, GET OUT OF MY DIARY!

But the thing is, I don’t really want it to be like it was two years ago. I mean, there are definitely things I miss...people I miss. When I look at old pictures or yearbooks, it's impossible not to feel nostalgic. But, change is important. I know it is. If life didn’t change, I wouldn’t have joined the dance team last year. I wouldn’t have met Mickey, or gotten closer to Anthony and Johnny. I wouldn’t have started high school, I wouldn’t have auditioned for the play, and I wouldn’t have met Andy.

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.” That’s a Shakespeare quote. At least I think it is. Anyway, it fits my mood. Maybe I can ask Andy about it tomorrow at rehearsal.

Rehearsal...Andy...well, maybe change isn’t so bad. I mean, things are pretty exciting right now. I just wish I had the Dance Brothers to tell about it.

New year, new me. Whatever's going on around me, at least I know I'm on my way to finding myself. Wish me luck!

Lots of Love, Jules ♡