YREG Diary: falling

Emotions just... falling, one by one becoming non existent all starting with joy and happiness. It won't stop until I'm empty, nothing there.. dead but still here. Disappointed in us. This. What even is this anymore?

Round and round in circles, the same problem over and over. Time. If that is a problem, why? Why does everyone obsess over time? Screaming at the top of my lungs "fuck you, just leave me alone, just fucking leave me alone." every night dying as I suffocate myself with a pillow just so I don't worry anybody with my problems. My music is my best medicine and is the only friend I feel I have at the moment.

Staring at the ceiling as I listen to my music out loud just trying to stay afloat.